you ever listen to some songs and you just...

close your eyes and cry a little bit... but like, you didn't even realize it was gonna happen/ that it did until the warm water is all there and you're all "woo, so uh... well, there it goes." just  me? that's cool.

it doesn't happen a lot, but i just had one of those moments with this song. i've had my times in the past where i put it on repeat. i just think lyrically, it's great... esp the play on what's "crazy" or "natural." and i just love Jill Scott, what she says, how she says it, her voice, her energy... errthang. probably more i'm not saying right now. but i think what led to the surprise tears, was the hope i have for this "crazy" in my life. it's a constant struggle between trying not to think about it and believing in it and having the (what feels like) blind faith in it. oh, and settling. everything feels like settling to me, when it's not this. but then again, i can't say for sure i know what it means to have this, whether it would be it for me. what's really settling, and what's really just a necessary part of my life/growth. i'm young. but that justification for things doesn't really mean much to me, because last year somebody i knew died at age 20. tomorrow is not promised. this is probably another thing that leads me to dead on- and pseudo-write about love every five minutes on here. I honestly think that I'll be able to work out the other things in my life, not that they'll be easy. But, it is a constant effort (for many reasons) for me to believe i'll really build a meaningful, unfathomable, indescribable, AWESOME (in every sense of the word, awe-inspiring, etc) connection and relationship with someone. Because if I didn't make the effort I don't know what I'd settle for. I'm actually scared of what that would look like...

now, i in no way proclaim that i am grown/have experienced enough to know just what she's talking about but even from my position ... "rah rah sis boom bah!" to this, okay?

Note: couldn't find a video with just "Not Like Crazy," that song, the one i'm talking 'bout, is over at 4:01 but it's all Jill Scott so just enjoy :]