1. Hill Harpers’ “Letters to a Young Sister: DeFINE Your Destiny” I don’t care if I found it in college, it is a beautiful book, gesture and effort. Hill Harper is the man. (haven't even thought about that in a while, but i read it a summer or two ago)
2. Professors (and teachers in the past) that actually care about me as a student, and a person.
3. Friends. Family. The people who are here now, and the ones that will come and I will give a chance to matter/place in my heart and will appreciate it.
4. Poetry. Words. Shared revelations, heartbreaks, I could go on for a while. Suffice it to say, not being alone.
5. Music. *sigh*
6. People doing what they love because they know there’s no other way for them to live fully.
7. Being myself. You being yourself. Us, practicing, being our true selves regardless of how many people/things/whatever that want to take ourselves from us. And even when we take ourselves from us.
8. Wanting to fix things that are broken. Just the desire to, and the people that are willing to help put it back together.
9. Random conversations, meetings/encounters, blessings.
10. Being proven wrong about negative perceptions/beliefs/truths that I hold, enforce and see life through sometimes.
11. The Bible, actually. And, the Love that I believe that God has for me and for everyone. How I’m learning to define it, and how it doesn’t hate/exclude anyone. And how unfathomable that can be, but I’m learning.
12. Sometimes, it’s not too late.
13. License to tell my truth, even if it only lasts for a moment, even if it’s only my truth for a moment and knowing that I’m not losing anything but releasing. The people that allow me this, and don’t judge me/write me off.
The list goes on…
14. Learning to show love and appreciation, without feeling like I'm losing some mystery or power that can't be regained.
I found your 'blog while searching desperately on Google for "things that give me hope". I am very down at the moment and grasp whatever I can to get me through the day. I love your list- thankyou for that. It has helped.
ReplyDeleteI still have faith, but it's surprising how often I forget to pray. And when I pray, I usually end up saying thankyou for things, as I feel that I am being ungrateful; I forget to ask for help as well. I see your number 9: random encounters and conversations. I very much agree with that one. When I did remember and was brave enough to ask for help a few weeks ago, the most extraordinary things happened. I will share them with you, because I think you'll appreciate it :) and I need to write them down.
I asked God for one little thing, anything, that would get me through this particular day, and which would confirm that He was there watching (apologising for seeming greedy and needy and unfaithful).
I got on the bus to go to work fifteen minutes later. A young man got on and sat next to me. All he did was look at me and smile. A perfectly pure smile. He did not want money or cigarettes; he was not crazy; he was not horny and trying to hit on me. It was just a big smile, just for me, for the sake of a smile. I marvelled at how quickly heartfelt prayers are answered, and was humbled.
But there's more!
There was some time before I had to be at work. I sat down outside to wait. I was thinking about how lonely I was, and how much I missed my friends (I have recently moved to a new country).
An elderly homeless man approached me. He needed a bus ticket, which I gave him. Then, as though he were reading my thoughts, he looked me in the eye and said "you have friends everywhere".
When I went to work, still amazed at this, a coworker pointed towards the door. A strange woman was standing in the doorway, smiling widely and waving at me, as though she knew me. I had never seen her before in my life.
"Random" things are not random at all. God gives us what we need right when we need it, if only we bother to look. And it was not random that I found your blog :)
Wow! I just saw your comment today and it makes me very happy :)! I'm glad that my list meant something to you. Sometimes I forget that other people actually read my blog b/c I write largely b/c it's just pretty therapeutic.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your stories with me :) And I agree, "Random things are not random at all." I'm sure it's not random I found this today. I hope that things are better for you now and that you've been finding other ways to find hope and happiness.
And I forget to pray (fully) too. I used to worry about what I asked for because I know there are people that have it a lot worse than me, but then I realized that my struggles & worries & doubts & all the things on my heart aren't too much for God. Maybe you should try to remember that too.
I hope the sun is shining wherever you are. And, you experience things that make you smile today :)