my birfday plans.

 I was planning on doing karaoke, but then I realized that I really am not particularly invested in planning anything big for my birthday. If I did, it would be more in the interest of a big group activity for others because I feel like I should than really about me.  And, best believe, this weekend is going to be about me. I have to learn how to do things like this for myself.  But I gots some things I have to do this weekend/I have set up to enjoy. So, don't fret I'm turning 21 in style (my-style, and that's all anyone can really ask for).

In the meantime this is my little list of birthday futures I’m speaking into existence for myself :j

1. A date. Like show me what dates look like when you really care for and think about someone and are determined to see multiple smiles on their face throughout the night. You feels me!
2. Some type of gathering of the lovers of oldies. I’ll take most things 90s and before and only the dope people of the 21^st century. Oooh and it would be cool if part of it could be a “music is not dead” type of showcase where people show the artists producing great work, during the era of “music ain’t what it used to be.” So basic-a-ma-lee, I want a music fest for my birthday. This will happen before I die, trust.
3.  Precious lil lip kisses/lil body hugs from my chillen one day. Their father, in tow, with a couple kisses of his own for me ;]
4. Writer fest something similar to the music fest, where there is a history shown of meaningful/powerful words. Learning what is important and why to other people and sharing what is important to me.
5.  Some awesome poem.
6. I’ll be reflecting on how great it is that my writing has been published and people are reading my book(s).
7. I’ll be reflecting on how proud I am of myself for actually learning how to either (at least) 1) break dance (a lil sumpn sumpn) or 2) play the guitar or maybe even 3) sing with some skill and ooh ooh 4) draw with some skill.
8.  I’ll get to show my sister, mom and grandmom how much I love and appreciate them for being (for the most part) the only family I know, need and see when I hear that word. For loving and supporting me, and being crazy with me- for being crazy/silly/fun themselves. And all that good stuff that I am going to stop myself from being epic with right here.
9. Write letters to the people that will last/have lasted this list/these declarations and the trials of time and peopleness (all the things that could pull us apart). Look out for these in maybe 10 years. Or at least 5.
10. Be out of the US, writing and learning and contributing somehow/ mattering somewhere
11. Sunshine. Warm weather. Toes out and free. And, a little leg on display. Oh, and plenty of smiles and laughter. A "just for me, i don't give a damn what you think about what i just did" outfit. Good, "close your eyes and just sniff," air.
12. Healing.

Would write more, but I gotta do some semblance of homework tonight. Shall write more eventually, I’m sure. It might just be a journal entry tho.

Special Note :] one of my good great (consult definitions: 3-9, 13, 18, 19 and 21 to understand what i'm saying) friends has offered (and of course, I accept!) to take me on a “this is what these lil-knuckleheads should be doing for you!” date of sorts this Saturday before my birthday and I’m excited ;] I am prepared to smile, laugh and be entirely honest/foolish/super! and surprised this night. 


happy birthday (in advance) and yaynousity to me!