using the right words.

So, sometimes I like to look up words in the dictionary just to make really sure I know what I’m saying. Words are really important to me and I want to make sure I’m telling the truth and expressing what’s really going on. I’ve said “really” a lot. I thought to myself, “Is it gonna be lonely Wednesdays?” ‘Cause I felt really alone last Wednesday too. So then I said “Am I really lonely? Is that the word I really wanna use?” So I looked "lonely" up. 

 according to dictionary.com:

lonely [lohn-lee]

1.	affected with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone; lonesome.

2.	destitute of sympathetic or friendly companionship, support, etc.: a lonely exile.

3.	lone; solitary; without company; companionless.

4.	remote from places of human habitation; desolate; unfrequented; bleak: a lonely road.

5.	standing apart; isolated: a lonely tower.

I'm thinkin' not so much with the #2 'cause my friends are pretty good to me, or really even #4 because I don't mind being remote; I actually prefer it a lot of the time. Last Wednesday into Thursday a lil sumthin sumthin from #1 but it didn't last all day 'cause the sun started shining. I think I also came back to my room changed my clothes and attitude and felt better. Go figure. #3, I don't know if I'd say "companionless" as much as I'd say "partnerless."I've never had a partner- someone that understands, cares for, sacrifices for and shares with me. Not unh. And, that was just my top of the head definition. #5, very much so. I often feel like I stand apart from a lot of people my age. I frequently, and often shamelessly, voice how important love is to me that what I want most is love. Not money. Not to be famous, or in the books. Not to be the most beautiful (though I imagine that's what I'd become in love :]). Not not worldly, well-versed in game, whatever the hell people want nowadays. Shoot, I don't even know. Every once and a while I try to convince myself  of this:

"Nothing to do/nowhere to be/a simple little kind of free/nothing to do/no one but me/and that's all i need/I'm Perfectly Lonely/cause I don't belong to anyone/and nobody belongs to me." *

That I'm free to do whatever the hell I want and that's great. You're 20, date whoever, date lots blah blah blah. "Have fun!" Note: John Mayer still announced in a concert that the feeling lasts as long as the song. 

I don't know if I've listened to too many love songs or if it's just this... After, I looked up "lonely" I said "Nah, that's not what I really wanna say. What does "hungry" mean?"

Hungry [huhng-gree]

1.	having a desire, craving, or need for [love]; feeling hunger.

2.	indicating, characteristic of, or characterized by hunger: He approached the table with a hungry look.

3.	strongly or eagerly desirous.

4.	lacking needful or desirable elements; not fertile; poor: hungry land.

5.	marked by a scarcity of [love]: The depression years were hungry times.

6.	Informal. aggressively ambitious or competitive, as from a need to overcome poverty or past defeats: a hungry investment firm looking for wealthy [partners].

1,2,3,4,5,6: mmhm. yeah, all that all that. (when you put it into the context that i'm talking about, for sure)

synonyms:

eagerness, craving, ravenous

STARVED: denotes a condition resulting from long-continued lack or insufficiency of [love], and implies enfeeblement, emaciation, or death [of dreaming, wishing, longing, faith and believing it's coming]

FAMISHED: denotes the condition of one reduced to actual suffering from want of [love], but sometimes is used lightly or in an exaggerated statement. 

Oh, I've done that. Por ejemplo, "I'm famished after dealing with the b.s. [read: disappointment] that I've put up with/put myself through in the meantime."

Oh yeah, I'm hungry. For at least a test drive, a chance. Dag gone it. But I am also faithful. And the sun is shining pretty strongly today, too. So, I'll be aight ;]