b/c i'm falling asleep to the soundtrack and i feel compelled.

500 days of Summer freewrite? thoughtsiz.

This is one of the few movies where after I left the theater I felt shaken and still at the same time, and kinda like there was a lot of pressure in my head and a whole lot pushing down on me. Saw it in the summer, alone. (I like going to the movies alone, leaves lots of room for reflection) It was a sunny day, and i made it home uninterrupted by people or delays. Saw it downtown at The Ritz, nearly empty theater, weekday afternoon.

1. and it was so heavy because i identified with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. (Love-sick) Victim of love songs.
2. the male character, such an interesting flop in our conceptions of who's searching for love that
3. i didn't even realize that me and him were of different genders until I spoke with another girl about the movie last semester and she told me she identified with Summer. (not to say that his character was girly, he was just searching and eager and wrapped up in the idea of love/ in/of Summer)
4. and now I know Summer is the girl's name but I wonder if we can compare Summer (the season to love), inherent/intentional, and love.
5. i really  like the soundtrack. Pretty sure i bought it this summer when i was kinda broke cause i really enjoyed it.
6. and his lil sister said that (yes, he got advice from his little sister and their relationship I really liked), just because he found a girl that liked the same weird stuff that he liked didn't mean that he was meant to be with her.
7. hrmm.. it's funny, i never really questioned that notion until the movie. cause i'm  all, "ooh, I wanna be understood. if you love what i love then love love love, right?" prooobbbaably not?
8. and then he meets Autumn at the end, haha.
9. but before all that, he has to make it through the debilitating depression-like heartbreak and return to what he loves. (cause he works at a greeting card company even though he dreamed of being an architect)
10. so love is what you love, and i also wondered if that made him less attractive to her, that he wasn't doing what he really loved. being genuinely passionate about something and acting on it is hella sexy and inspiring.
11. and before you get who you love, you gotta work on what you love? or either way don't lose sight of what's really calling to you or what you're called to do, what you feel connected to, screaming inside, you're most afraid to risk failing... all that all that. and "Vagabond" was really good recovery music.
12. and i can't remember which scene "Sweet Disposition" played in, but I definitely had a day or two last semester where I just had that song and no other on repeat.
13. and "You Make My Dreams," Hall & Oates, Hall & Oates just be boosting mine! that dance scene was cute but really listen to the words, even the first couple of lines?!! yes! Hall & Oates hits in general are just "that's my jaaaaaaammmmm" worthy though, for me.
14. I know I'm not gonna say everything I want about this movie right now, and right before I go to sleep is the only time I'll allow that to happen.
15. Another part i really liked **SPOILER, avert your eyes if invested in experiencing it like new (but wait, i already said a lot, ANYwho...) the "dreams vs. expectations" scene. SO REAL.
16. Another thing I kept wondering about throughout the movie, and I often wonder when I see movies with weird interesting people in romantic scenarios: how come we don't get to see weird/outcast/outlier/music nerd/not only soulful/athletic/hip-hopped and jazzed out black people/(not stereotype but) archetypal? black people (or any race other than white for that matter) in love? And when I see movies like 500 Days of Summer and Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind etc etc. I love it! and then I have this sense of feeling so far. I'm all, "I'm really feelin' this. GREAT story." and then I'm like "Oh, but they're white. Do they know I'm watching? You know, black people like this kinda stuff too. Can we get our own version?"
17. Do I just not know about it?
18. You know, I read this Toni Morrison quote that (roughly) says that you have to write the story that you can't seem to find that you'd want to read. I guess I need to write a story thennnnn... mmhm.
19. OR, maybe someone can enlighten me.
20. in any case. i really liked the movie and i really like the soundtrack. "Wrap yourself around me/cause I ain't the way you found me/and I'll never be the same." That's that Hall & Oates.
21. Also, how much do I love the ordering of the days and the story/memories?! LOTS! In an interview i think the writer said he did it that way because that's how our memories tend to work, not chronologically, episodic and whatnot.
22. I also just really enjoy parentheses :]
23. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Zooey Deschanel (who I like in general for being a weirdo in all her roles), Mychael Danna & Rob Simonsen, Regina Spektor, The Smiths, Black Lips, Doves, Hall & Oates, The Temper Trap, Carla Bruni, Feist, Simon & Garfunkel (moving, wonder what it'd be like longer but understand why it isn't), Wolfmother, Mumm-Ra, Meaghan Smith and She & Him: all performers on the OST.
24. This will lead me off on another whole other list but, I also thought throughout the movie how black women (or other women of color) never get to be type-whimsical. Maybe we don't all want to be, but I don't know there just seems to be reasons behind it. But I also saw another article that criticized the archetypal white Indie movie women who really serves as nothing more than the object of a man's desire, intangible and not really the focus of the movie. So, it's not so great having the privilege of being whimsical or conveniently intangible and searched for either. *shrugs shoulders*

 i'm gonna stop now. time for bed.