December 31st, 2009

1.   I’ve set an alarm on my phone for sometime late December 2010, a series of alarms actually. They read as follows:

willbeinlovew/

therightpersonh

ecarriesmyheart

andihis

forsometimenow.

I’m optimistic for once. Shout outs to E.E. Cummings.

2. I can feel already how different 2010 is going to be. 2009 was long. Was transformative, in an obvious way. Accumulation of little differences when presented to the public showed drastic change. For the good. For the bad. The latest was the good. Holler.

3. I like to write to people. I like to write to people and not send it to them. It’s an exercise :] But, I’m currently working on something for someone who will last. Which means I’ll be writing it for a while ‘cause it’ll take a lot of convincing for me to think someone will last.

a. Though I’ve made the mistake of pretending I thought something was worth vulnerability mistakes about that kind of thing before.

4. In time for New Year brand change… what are my vices?

a. People watching.

b. Anonymous readership.

c. Developing crushes and shooting down possibilities, forming character breaks in crush—the last time I met and formed some semblance of a relationship with a crush (though he never knew he was one), he died. That sucks. I don’t wanna meet another one and have him die. Is that my real fear? Idk anymore.

d. Convincing myself that my efforts don’t matter, in most things worth risking my comfort for.

e. Knowing better, and not acting accordingly.

f. I’m tired of this exercise…

5. I better enjoy myself tonight! My pockets are growling, they so hungry and that bus ride here better be worth it.

6. Here’s to me consistently having something to say! [And when I say “here’s” I lift my eyebrow. Would be proper if it was a champagne glass (and champagne) to clank but nah]